Let's Be Real Here
I think Squidward might be the best clarinet player anywhere. I've never heard of anyone else being able to play underwater!!!
I have to say you have a valid point. Who else can play clarinet so well underwater? Other things you wonder about Squidward:
How does he get over a gurgling sound?
What does he do when he gets water in his Eb key or any key?
Has he ever had a problem with air escaping his embouchure?
Do his reeds ever get waterlogged?
Does he have more or less issues with spit near the mouthpiece?
Does he use a plastic or wooden clarinet? If wooden, he must use a lot of bore oil on it.
On the horn, do the pads have fish skin on them and does he find that appetizing? Or does he use synthetic pads?
When he orders sheet music, does he have the sheet music provider laminate it for waterproofing?
Do you think he ever went to the Titanic wreckage and tried to play this Titanic Clarinet
Ah, things only Squidward could tell us.